This weekend our hero, Arabic Girl, fought all of the forces of Eeeevil in not one, but six sites of ancient-city-Holy-God-salty kind of places!! We last left our caped crusader (not such a good term around here, doh!) diligently scribbling away at hours of Arabic homework. Yet, alas, the call for adventure rang and our hero valiantly answered that call by taking a long nap on the tour bus.
Friday... wa-wa-wa....
The first stop for historical ass-kicking took place at Umm Qais, also known as the place Jesus cast out a legion of demons an sent them into flying pigs... or something like that. Not wanting to be stood up by Jesus, Arabic Girl tried to cast some demons out of her fellow travelers but only ended up taking some really awesome pictures of columns and the view of the Sea of Galilee with Israel and Syria int he background.
Off to Ajloun next, a medieval fortification of Crusader-Castle-in-the-Desert-Goodenss, where our hero felt what it would be like to fend off the Holy Land from the likes of the Joker, Magneto, and the Tea Party (or read "BP") all at once! Never Fear! Ajloun is on the high ground with a moat and archer's windows, it was a lovely place but could probably use some Martha Stewart K-mart Collection.
After feasting on plates of roast beast and critter with breads galore, Arabic Girl met her biggest match of the day: Jaresh. This towering monster of thousands of years holds the One Ring and the necklace from Titanic (or you could read "unobtain-ium"), or at least the best Roman ruins outside of Italy. Colossal pillars, theaters, and temples to Zeus cover this site. Luckily Arabic Girl is in fact faster than a speeding bullet and had no problem wining all of the races in the Hippodrome.
Back to the Bat-Cave for the night complete with an Arabic training montage.
Saturday... BAM!
Not wanting to be one of those boring, heathen types Arabic Girl abandons her studies to run off to save the Holy Land from tourists in matching neon t-shirts and Micky Mouse Hats.
First Stop: Mount Nebo. The place that God took Moses to see the Promised Land, but Moses had a bad habit of cutting people off in traffic with his camel so God didn't let Moses actually go to the Promised Land. Good thing Arabic Girl doesn't have road rage.
Nest Stop: B-B-Bethany B-B-Beyond the Jordan. Where Jesus was thrown into the Jordan river by a crazy man in a bear suit who ate bugs and lived in the caves (really not making that one up). Arabic Girl was ready and willing and definitely laid some knowledge of the Biblios on some fellow hajj-ers (hajj = pilgrimage).
Stop Three: The Sea of Dead. Watch out, if you have a cut you WILL find it. Immediately. Arabic Girl's kryptonite is not salt, or else she would have died by merely looking at the Sea of Dead (in fact it is actual kryptonite). Jesus might have walked on water, but everyone in the Sea of Dead can float on water- just try and drown, try it! Buoyancy is one of Arabic Girl's super powers. Fact. Vanquishing evil at the Sea of Dead was very difficult: after the swimming and mud bath and exfoliation and more swimming and eating ice cream there wasn't very much evil to vanquish.
Alas, join us next time for Arabic Girl's adventures in international soccer games!!!
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